Living in the Now VS. Thinking For the Future

I find myself in a dilemma. But it’s ok because there is always an answer! (Just don’t know what it is yet.)

My abuelita who raised me had a ‘saying’ for everything. My favorite quote of hers is about life in general and what happens when you focus on dumb stuff:

“If you keep one foot on yesterday and try to put one foot on tomorrow, you’ll shit all over today.”

I sure love my abuelita. ♥ She also had another quote I love:

“In this world, everything except death has a solution.”

So do I live in the ‘now’ or think about my future?  Should I upgrade my situation? Should I fix what I have now and try to make it work?

There are so many pro’s and con’s but it really depends on the severity of your personal situation.

Living in the ‘Now’

Pros	Cons
Your risk is lessened.	You are not taking that risk of ‘jumping’ into a new life.
You’re probably not going to hurt anyone by staying stagnant.	You’re only hurting yourself, if this is really not where you want to be.
You can literally build from where you’re at.	Remember you can only change yourself, not others.
Focusing on one thing, the present, will considerably lower your stress level.	Only thinking about the present is limiting your perception of life.
You can wait to see if things get better.	Things may never get better and you’ve wasted time waiting.

Thinking for the Future

Pros	Cons
You are (perceivably) getting out of a bad situation.	…into a worse one.
A new beginning awaits you	However you may be hurting others by leaving them behind.
New plans can be started or old goals can be put into motion.	The unknown factors of the future tend to have a way to throw wrenches into plans.
You have the opportunity to not make the same mistakes of the past.	None! If you keep tripping over the same rock, well then you’ve missed the point.

As you can tell, I tend to be my own Devil’s Advocate. I don’t consider myself to be negative, but I do try to be a realistic as possible. This is why I find myself in this dilemma. These are the thoughts that run through my head whenever I get ready to make that life altering decision.

I wish life were as simple as tossing a coin, à la Two Face style. In the mean time, here are some excellent articles on decision making:

Stacey Lawson: Principal #1: Live in the Now

Thinking in the Future Tense

How To Make Life Changing Decisions

The Brain: How We Make Life and Death Decisions

Benjamin’s 5th Birthday Party

It’s been a busy week for me and I know some of you have written in, so many apologies for the late responses!

Firstly, Clovis got snowed in on Thursday! It was so bad I had to get my car towed out of a snow bank… which was such a harrowing experience for me… I was afraid I had ruined my car!

Then on Friday, I had the day off and spent the entire day cleaning the house and decorating it for my son, Benjamin’s 5th Birthday party which was going to be a Batman Theme.

I ordered ALL my supplies from Party America, which is a first for me. I usually always order from Birthday Express but their Batman supplies were not nearly as robust as Party America’s. My order came in quick, too!

Benjamin opted to dress as the Joker and I ordered his costume from Gift Brand. The costume was a bit big, so  I tailored it myself a bit to fit him perfectly. I bought a bottle of temporary green hairspray from Walgreens and sprayed his hair entirely with it:

He obviously loved his look as much as I did!

 

One of the highlights of the party was the cake. My god, the cake. I found Jessica Marie via Craigslist and immediately emailed her. I sent her a couple pictures of what I wanted, and she created this gorgeous cake for us.

We had planned to have the party at a hall originally, as I wanted to invite Benjamin’s classmates, my friends from work and Twitter and David would have invited his friends as well. However, two issues arose:

1. There is no reasonable place in Clovis to have a birthday party.
2. Clovis was snowed in and many of the roads leading into the city were closed.

We ended up having the house as our venue and only invited family and close friends.  Some family members couldn’t make it due to snow, but all-in-all I thought it was a great party!

The day of the party was a little hectic for me. Since Clovis had been snowed in, the table rental place had closed down. I freaked out! Where was I going to get two long tables and 15 chairs?? Luckily, we scraped up plenty of chairs and bought a couple of poker tables at Wal-Mart.

Benjamin received plenty of toys and a couple of cute outfits as gifts. I’m writing up the Thank You notes now  and should have those delivered today.

Thanks to those who made it and for those who didn’t, my birthday is in August… better bring a designated driver!

January Doodle: Edna

This months drawing is a portrait of a fictional character; Edna Babineau, a circus performer:

Edna , which was not always her name, was always the adventurous type, quick to initiate a game of Truth or Dare or a trip to the lake for skinny dipping. Soon enough, she grew tired of the smaller adventures and longed for a much larger and therefore more perilous undertaking. When she was old enough she decided to leave on a brand new journey, taking her to places only the wind could touch.

In a small town clear across the country she was discovered by the Ring Master of a traveling Circus, ‘Le Cirque Mondeau’. Such was the Ring Master captivated by the wildness in this girls eyes that he implored her to join their traveling troupe of dancers. Edna agreed only because she could see a spark in the old Ring Master’s eyes that told her that he wanted her more than just a simple dancer.

Edna quickly became the Ring Master’s favorite doll. He would constantly lavish her with gifts of fine wine, expensive custom made corsets and other pretty accoutrements. After performances, Edna would be the only member of the troupe to receive her own dressing room. Although she was clearly treated better than the rest, the members of the troupe loved her dearly and never spoke ill of her despite her meager dancing skills.

The Ring Master was madly in love with Edna… he always called her pet names and was constantly thinking of ways to woo his most prized pet. Edna never bothered with the Ring Master… he was twice her age yet half her size. The Ring Master knew  that such a rare and beautiful flower like Ms. Babineau would never look his way under normal circumstances… yet he devised a plan of such grandiose proportions that he knew he would have captured her heart by the time his contrivance was complete.

That is all for now! Hope you all like the drawing… I certainly need the practice!

What Is Your Personality Type?

I always love these personality discovering tests because I truly like to learn what others might perceive me as! Silly, I know, but it is my philosophy that to better understand yourself, it is important to understand how others see you.

So thanks to Twitter, I discovered MyPersonality, a site that tests your personality and tries its best to place you into one of the 16 Jungian personality types. My personality was pegged as an INFP which stands for: Introverted, Intuition, Feeling, Perceiving. Better explained by them:

“INFPs are introspective, private, creative and highly idealistic individuals that have a constant desire to be on a meaningful path. They are driven by their values and seek peace. Empathetic and compassionate, they want to help others and humanity as a whole. INFPs are imaginitive, artistic and often have a talent for language and writing. They can also be described as easygoing, selfless, guarded, adaptable, patient and loyal.”

They also offer a very cool badge you can embed on your blog or what-have-you. Here’s mine:

 

It’s VERY cool to see J.R.R. Tolkien in the list of INFP’s!

There is also a ‘Multiple Intelligence’ test, which really matched me quite well, wouldn’t you say?

I’d like to read your results, post them here or on Twitter @crysticouture!

 

 

Things I Love Thursday [6]

1. ♥., 2. ♥, 3. ♥, 4. ♥

It’s been a while since I’ve done a T.I.L.T but these past couple of weeks have been so amazing, that I have literally shouted to the Universe: ‘Thank you for EVERYTHING! I love you!’

{music.} I love Blip.fm because I can really share the tracks I’m loving right now. I recently discovered The Hood Internet’s mix tape and it is wicked awesome. If 60 minutes of continuous music isn’t your thing, then you can download the individual tracks at their site.

{learning about noetic science.} Seriously, I believe I was born to be a Noetic Scientist. It’s absolutely perfect for me; it’s got the right mix of science and controversy with a pinch of ‘oh shit son’. It’s an amazing field really and I want to learn more about how I can get involved. Learn more at The Institute of Noetic Science.

{david getting a raise.} Now, I know this is mundane to most of you out there, but David (my 7 year boyfriend) getting a raise is absolutely phenomenal. Did you know that when we started living together 7 years ago, we lived in a tiny little concrete apartment rife with giant cockroaches?? We were so poor and had lived there so long that the cockroaches evolved! They started flying! Goodness, how awesome life has treated us since then. Now we’ve own a nice house…working hard really pays off.

{buying a new car.} …and not just any car, my dream car, the Mazda RX-8! Another reason to holler ‘Thanks’ to the Universe.

{going to an art gallery benefit.} John Pritchett throws a rad party.

{links i’m loving.} Since so much of my time is spent online, I’ve got a slew of lovely links to share with you:

• 9 Ways to Reinvent Yourself
• Use your Christmas lights year round with this easy hack
• Dalai Lama’s 18 Rules for Living  my favorite? ‘Share your knowledge. It’s a way to achieve immortality.’
• Art canvas that tells the actual time pricey unfortunately, but a WONDERFUL idea for a DIY project
• Having my son wear this for his upcoming birthday party (sans mask, of course)
• How I personally feel about Google (made me laugh!) Pearls Before Swine
• I absolutely ♥ ‘The Sartorialist but I love this gorgeous girl and her androgynous outfit!

Other things I am loving this week are: getting my hair done in a record 30 minutes, writing wish lists, feeling love reverberating in my body, making lists of things I want to learn, planning my son’s birthday (2 months of planning now!), and big fat 1.0 mm pens!

What’s floating your boat this week?

How To Haggle For the Perfect Car

…now onto the hard stuff…business.

You’ve (finally) decided on the car you want. It may have taken a day, several days, weeks or even months. Please don’t let your search last months though, you may lose a prime opportunity! On the other hand, just as in relationships there are many fish in the sea and if you extend your search out a bit you may find another perfect deal!

Ideally, have a down payment ready, at least $2,000 or more. This shows the dealer you are serious about taking a car home that day.

Depending on your credit, you may not need to have a down payment ready. This comes in very helpful if you need to buy a car in an emergency situation, such as my situation where both of our cars are in a sensitive state. Remember, even if you’re in a emergency/rushed state of getting a car, don’t rush the process itself.

What I mean by this is, pay attention to every detail of the contract and the car:

• Will there be a warranty? How long? Can you upgrade that?
• How much are your monthly payments?
• What kind of insurance do you need? (More than likely full coverage)
• When are the payments due? And to whom?
• Is there a Carfax report you can have?

Of the top of my head these are just some of the questions you may want answered before you sign anything.

Now, onto the haggling.

As I mentioned in the last post, set your budget and make it known. Be prepared though, the dealer may still show you something that is a bit above your budget simply because the dealer may want a higher commission and may also do it because he thinks you may be interested.  A lot of people have told me that stating your price is the last thing you should do, but it worked out very well for me! 

Once you’ve decided on a car you really like and agree on, it may be more than what your budget has allocated. This puts you at an advantage believe it or not. Perhaps I better explain my story and you’ll see how I knocked nearly $4000 off this car.

I drove on the lot and immediately saw the car I wanted. I have dreamt of this car and researched it extensively. At some point in time I nearly gave up on searching for this car because it is a rarity to find it with an Automatic transmission. I greeted the dealers very warmly, joked a bit and mentioned that this car is my dream car and wanted to take it for a spin. They obliged.

Unfortunately, no price was posted on the car itself. During the test drive we talked price. The dealer said this car was $19000 and I mentioned my budget was $13000. I feigned slight defeat and mentioned how much I really wanted this car. My boyfriend took a test drive as well and also mentioned how much he also wanted this car. We came back to the lot.

I asked the dealer if he had any other cars on his lot comparable to my dream car for around $13000, this shows the dealer I’m serious. He said that he didn’t have any on this lot, but he could bring two others in. He sent two other dealers to get a Scion and a 2008 Eclipse.

I forgot to mention to him that I am only comfortable driving automatic. The cars he brought were manual transmission. Big oops. I still test drove them although my manual transmission driving skills are icky. I brought both cars back and parked all three contenders together. I reiterated that I really wanted my dream car if only there was something we could do about the price. At this point the dealers said that we could make a deal. Maybe.

We sat down for hours. The original price was $19000. At the end of that session, I brought it down to $15500. I just kept repeating my price, made offers and kept a straight face. Perhaps poker players would be the best car hagglers.

Drum roll, please!

 

 

 

 

 

 

I bought my dream car! A 2005 Mazda RX-8 with only 28000 miles! It drives like a dream! Those are actual pics of my new ride, I am so excited to finally have a nice car! Plus it’s the perfect size for us, there’s plenty of room in the back and has four doors. Perfect match!

So there’s the end of a happy little story, I’ve got to sell my little Honda Civic now!

How To Find The Perfect Car

I’ve been having car problems: first with my poor, old Honda Civic and now with my boyfriend’s Camaro is having some bad problems with the water pump, radiator and engine block. Boo. :(

So when we took a day trip to Albuquerque to get the final verdict on my knee, we decided to take a look around and see what sorts of cars Albuquerque had to offer me. I currently live in Clovis, which is a small town that sells their cars at extremely expensive prices. I think that the local dealers think people have no other choices so they’ll just have to settle. However, this city is situated in a way that a day trip can take you to either El Paso, TX, Lubbock, TX or Albuquerque, NM which are all very large cities and have extremely competitive prices.

1. The first thing you need to do is research, research, research.  Don’t just go on a trip to the car dealer expecting to walk on the lot and browse. Many car dealers nowadays have (and should) have websites that allow you to virtually browse their stock. This is SUPER useful because you can make a list of the cars you want to see. This also avoid you falling into the inevitable trap of falling for a car that the dealer wants to sell you rather than the one you want to buy.

With your list, you now have prospects and more than likely, the lots you will be visiting may have another comparable cars at a comparable prices that you can evaluate.

Here were my two original prospects (these links may not work once the cars are sold) and they are actual pictures of the cars I tested:

2003 Volkswagen Beetle GLS	2008 Mustang V6 Deluxe

 

2. Through your research you will find that you will gravitate towards a certain type of car. For me, it was 2 door coupes. They have always worked very well for me. Have a list of the features you want most and keep this list in your mind or in your Moleskine or planner.  This is important so that you aren’t test driving cars that you really aren’t loving. You don’t want to be going into the dealership intending on testing a Scion and then taking home a Cube.

2. Always test drive! It is a very stupid and old belief that once you’ve driven one of the same type, say I tested a Beetle here in Clovis, that ALL other Beetles will drive the same. SO NOT TRUE. Different models have different engines and capabilities. A prime example: I tested that Mustang (such an awesome car) but there was a very weird clicking noise in the engine, originating from one of the belts. The dealer blamed it on a recent detail, but I beg to differ. Although I tested that car out for quite a while, the noise did not go away.

3. Never buy a car with something wrong with it! We made this grave mistake twice (idiots, aren’t we?) with the Honda and the Camaro. We figured we would ‘fix it later’. No, no, no! When a car has a number of (small) things wrong with it, more than likely there are other things wrong with it too. We have learned this the hard way and hope that maybe you’ll learn from our mistakes.

4. Aim high. Don’t be discouraged by the shinyness and newness of the cars in the lot. That’s all for show. What matters is the age, the mileage and the way it runs. Looks also matter, at least to me they do. You don’t want to be stuck with something you will be unhappy with 5 years down the line. When you buy a car, it’s very much like a relationship or finding a new boyfriend.

5. Shout your budget out from the rooftops! Don’t waste the dealer’s time and don’t have him waste yours. I went to 4 different dealerships and the first thing I would say was: ‘I’m looking for a used car under $13k. I will also consider new cars in that range.’

6. Be confident about this. This is your money and this is going to be your new car. Don’t have reservations about this. The dealer is not going to be the one making the payments, he’s the one that will reap the benefits on selling you a more expensive car.

Part Two : ‘How To Haggle For the Perfect Car’, plus the reveal as to which car I bought will be up soon, so stay tuned!

My Lemonade Detox Diary

One of my New Year’s resolutions is to lose weight, so I am employing different tactics to achieve that lofty yet attainable goal. Ideally, I’d like to lose 60 lbs. Let’s see how close I can get to that goal.

Like I discussed in my prior post, one of my methods is the Lemonade Detox. I first heard about it through my friend Jose and then went forward and researched it a little more. The recipe I am using can be found via The Master Cleanse website.

 

 

1. 2 liters of water

2. 14 tbs. of lemon juice

3. 14 tbs. of grade b syrup

4. 1/8 tsp. cayenne pepper

{Day One.} I started drinking the lemonade a little late, at around 10 am. I was surprised by the great taste! The cayenne pepper definitely made the drink palatable and I think that maybe this is what takes my hunger away. I am writing this at 9 pm and still feel no overwhelming hunger. As a matter of fact, every time I think of food, smell food or see food, I take a sip. I have made the 4 bottles last me all day but I’ve only got a couple of sips left and an hour left till bed time.

{Day 2} Last night I dreamt of sandwiches. Guess my body really wants to eat but I don’t feel like eating. I was actually pretty wired in the afternoon! I noticed my tongue turned white in the evening. I had read somewhere that this is a sign that the detox is doing it’s magic.

{Day 3} Today I was colder than usual. Then again, it was also pretty darn cold in Clovis, so not sure if that was part of it or not, I’m usually hot-blooded. I haven’t been doing the salt water flush because I had no sea salt but I did it today. It made my stomach feel terrible and full. Every step I took made my stomach feel like a violent sea. I felt so nauseous. I managed to hold it down, and the regimen did take it’s intended path.

{Day 4} I find that I don’t need the lemonade that much to control my hunger now whereas before I required at least a sip to control any urges. I had to chug an entire bottle before bedtime to complete my 2 liter quota. I also got a call from a local Chinese Buffet alerting me that I had won a 6 person dinner at their establishment. I explained I was on a fast and needed to reschedule.

{Day 5} I ran out of syrup today and couldn’t find any syrup anywhere unless I wanted to shell out $45 bucks at the Health Food store. Luckily David Burch had some and was kind enough to sell it to me. My lemonade intake has lessened considerably. I find myself forcing myself to drink. Today I weighed 193.5 so I’ve lost close to 6 lbs.

{Day 6} My sense of smell is so heightened! Coming into a grocery store is a bit like torture. I can smell foods from inside their packages. I can smell the breath of the person two steps ahead of me. I never realized my cat farted so much.

{Day 7} Nothing too exciting today. I only drank three bottles out of my quota because I forgot to take my bottles to work with me today. I put way too much cayenne in the elixir today and my lips have been tingling since I started drinking today’s concoction. I made tomorrows batch and am realizing that tomorrow will be my last day since I officially ran out of syrup and lemons. Fantasies of steaks are filling my head. Sadly, I know my stomach has shrunk to the point that I may not even be able to handle a salad.

{Day 8} We’re on the way to Albuquerque today for a knee follow up. I have my lunch bag full of Lemonade bottles. I stayed up till 12 am making food for my family’s trip: sandwiches, hard boiled eggs, bean burritos, Chex mix. Cooking so much made me want to sample a bit but I refrained. I am sort of scared to start eating again.

This stint with the Lemonade Detox has altered my view of food. I feel as if all food is bad for me and I am truly a bit worried about eating again. At the same time, I am salivating for a good piece of meat and feel that at first taste, I might ravage my plate.

I do however, feel refreshed and energetic. Lethargy was never a problem during the detox although I was performing heavy cardio exercises and plenty of housework.

I recommend this detox to those that long for a simplified diet and have encouraging partners. This detox is best suited for single people with no families, as I certainly missed having dinner time with my family. Weight loss is guaranteed as long as you follow the program fully. Don’t forget the salt water flush and laxative tea nightly. These two additional steps will yield higher results!

Currently I am 189.5 so I lost 10 pounds in one week!

My Experiment With Weight Loss

f there is one thing that I love about coming into a New Year is that it’s an opportunity to start anew and get it right this time!

I set resolutions last year too, but I didn’t really follow them. 2009 was a year rife with financial problems and stress, so my emotional eating got the best of me, as with some of you as well, I’m sure.

So I am employing different methods of losing weight right now, and have been motivated to be serious about it this time because there’s money involved. My place of work is having a ‘Biggest Loser’ contest and winner gets $400.

{right now.}

• I am on a Lemonade Detox to get rid of any leftover junk in my body from last year. It lasts (or supposed to last) 10 days.  I am on day 7 today.

{dietary}

• I am only drinking water. No other drinks whatsoever.
• I am following this diet: http://bit.ly/6jZ6nP except I am not pigging out on my ‘free’ day. I’m sticking to salad’s, fresh cooked beans and soup.
• No carbs, the only bread I can eat is wheat pitas.

{physical.}
•    Hip Hop Abs 
•    Swiss Ball strengthening
•    Weights

{supplemental}

• A lot of Men’s Health Magazines, the women’s fitness magazines just don’t appeal to me.
• www.fitday.com to track all my food intake
• Planning on buying some Hoodia drops online to depress the hunger pangs.
• www.sparkpeople.com An online community that assist with weight loss, but they do send out too many emails.

Any other tips I should follow? Coming soon is my Lemonade Detox diary, so stay tuned! ;)

New Years Anthem 2010 By Fatman Scoop and DJ CLass Lyrics

It might be a couple of days late but this song really tells it like it is! Fatman Scoop, a comic, rap artist and TV personality famous for Man and Wife teams up with DJ Class and Disco Fries for an awesome anthem ringing in the new year!

Just about everyone is excited for the new year, this year more than others! Just about every blog I follow has recently featured a resolutions post, including my own, and positivity abounds all around!

Take a listen and check the lyrics:

 

Are you gonna make money this year? YEAH!
Are you gonna lose your house this year? NO!
Are you gonna step it up this year? YEAH!
Are you gonna lose your job this year? NO!
Are you gonna get some pussy this year? YEAH!
Are you gonna die this year? NO!
Are you gonna quit smoking this year? YEAH!
Are you gonna go to jail this year? NO!

This is it: Fatman Scoop, DJ Class, Disco Fries, 2010 LETS GO!

I don't give a fuck,
like you don't give a fuck,
tell the bartender put some more Patron in your cup,
Get Happy fucking New Year,
Fuck what happened last year,
Put my middle finger up like I dont even fucking care.
Last year, I fucked your girl.
This year, Imma fuck her too.
H2N2, bitches call me 'Swag Flu'

This year, you gonna get that house,
This year, you gonna buy that car,
This year, you gonna go to school,
and be a superstar.

This year you gonna fall in love,
This year you gonna pay your loan,
and show you're independent and do it on your own.

This year you're gonna start your business,
This year you're gonna graduate
This year you're gonna stay on your hustle,
and finally lose some weight.

This year you're gonna treat yourself,
This year you're gonna work your plan,
This year you're gonna leave that loser,
and get a real man.

Lets go now, OH
Everybody report to the dance floor, RIGHT NOW!
Lets Go!

Hands up, if you're winning this year,
Hands up, if you're running this year,
Hands up, if you going to grind this year,
Hands up, if youre tricking this year,
Hands up, If youre fucking this year
Hands up, if you're scoring this year,
Hands up, if you're humping this year,
Hands up, if you're pulling this year.

This year, you gonna get that house,
This year, you gonna buy that car,
This year, you gonna go to school, hey
and be a superstar.

This year you gonna fall in love,
This year you gonna pay your loans,
and show you're independent and do it on your own.

It's 2010 (8 times)
It's New Years Day!
What day is it?
Friday!

Twelve months in a year,
What number month?
Number One!

Day one of the year.
What year is it?
2010!

Now, check your watch,
What time is it? (5 times)