Crysti Couture

I just found out that the first love of my life, Randy James Arthur died on November 19th, 2008. I don’t know details yet but I can imagine that he probably did something to cause it.

I met Randy when I was 12 years old at Hacienda Valmora in Alcalde, NM. I remember I was an awkward girl, with very short hair and a tomboy style to the max. I wore XXL windbreakers (even though back then I wore small) and baggy JNCO jeans. He still liked me a lot and we started going out. He was about 5 feet 5 inches then…wore jeans and silk shirts. He was 16 and different than any other boy I had ever liked. He was Navajo and had the most amazing eyes.

We continued our little relationship, and kept in contact no matter what. When my parents had beaten me, I ran away twice and hitchhiked 400 miles to get to Randy. We lived together for a while. My first drink of alcohol was with Randy. I remember it…we had Jack Daniels Sour Mash and he got so wasted I has to help him pee. Ah the good old days.

He loved Bone Thugz n’ Harmony and Tupac. He loved to drink. He loved to hitchhike. I remember walking around Albuquerque with him, Thanksgiving of 2001 I think. I was freezing cold, and we only had hoodies. It was so cold and it was snowing so hard that the interstate out of Albuquerque was closed. We sat in front of some hospital for a while and a white van stopped in front of us. A woman stepped out and handed us white Styrofoam take out boxes filled with Thanksgiving food. We were stricken…we obviously looked like runaways or transients, and these people helped us. We continued walking that night.

I still remember that night…we slept under a derailed train car in the middle of Albuquerque. It was raining and snowing at the same time at that point. We held each other so close to keep warm.

I have always told Randy that I will always have a special place for him in my heart. That will never change, no matter who I end up marrying or how many loves I have in my life. We went through so much more than hitchhiking and drinking though. He was an avid poet, and his work can be seen here:

• http://poetry.com/dotnet/P4224225/Randy/Arthur/PoetProfile.aspx
• http://poetry.com/dotnet/P5243656/Randy/Arthur/PoetProfile.aspx

He dabbled in different sorts of spiritual things. I remember going with his mother, Julia to 3 different Peyote meetings. He and I would visit each other in our dreams. It’s called astral projection, and I’m sure a lot of people might just stop and say “WHAT??!” right about now, but it’s true. We didn’t do that for long, as it was most effective when we were in close proximity. I was and continue to be Wiccan, and he has always been into Native American Spirituality.

He called me Lucky C and I called him my Chino. I gave him a small white teddy bear that he kept for years, and he called it Lucky C too. He dedicated ‘Heaven’ by Rome to me. Here are the lyrics:

I remember way back when
we fell in love
playing hide and seek in the garden
romancing in the breeze
take me where i wanna be
in your arms
in extacy

you mean the world to me
and you make me whole
I never felt this way
feels like heaven
ooh
Heaven
Heaven, i wanna stay in your arms
Heaven, feels so good inside
Heaven

say you’re gonna stay a while
holding me loving me
through the midnight hours
a quiet storm for two
paradise in your eyes
let go, relax your mind,let go baby

you mean the world to me
and you make me whole
I never felt this way
feels like heaven
owww
Heaven
Heaven, it feels so good to be here baby
Heaven, so sweet so sweet
Heaven, the way you love me baby
heaven, i don’t wanna go nowhere
heaven, i wanna stay right here in your arms
heaven, girl you make me feel so good
heaven, i made her fall in love
Heaven, taste your sweet love oh your sweet love
Heaven, girl

We broke up in 2004, officially. Whenever I saw him, he had more felonies, and more battle scars on his face. His eyes were increasingly yellow from the amount of alcohol he drank. We couldn’t go on. He was like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde… he was such a deep and loving person, but his drinking turned him into a different person and I couldn’t deal with Mr. Hyde. I remember him visiting me while I was in college, about 3 years ago, soon after I had my son. He had gotten his culinary degree in Dover, MA and wanted to tell me how much he had changed. We talked for a while, but I told him my life was with my husband, and I couldn’t possibly go back to the life we once had.

To this day we kept in contact…but sometimes he wanted ALL my attention. Life had us go into different directions. I got married and now have a 3 year old son. If I would have kept a close relationship with him the way things used to be, my husband would have surely left me. I’m sure several of you can understand this…but I feel so sad right now that I didn’t keep that close relationship that he wanted.

Ayor anosh’ni Randy. Always.